When Harry Potter Met Monty Python
by MinionsOfTheNachoArmyUnite
Summary: When Aurther Weasley decides to show Harry & Ron some Muggle movies, Hermione will not be happy. ONESHOT. Spoilers for DH. R&R!


**A/N:** Yeah. I Know. Yet another story. The World has gone mad.

I would like to point out the fact that coffee for me is like liquid creativity. Unfortunatly (or, Fortunatly), the creativity that comes from coffee for me only comes in the form of Harry Potter FanFictions.

Also, I, personally, _love_ Monty Python, but most of the people I know find it unbearably stupid, and I have never found a teenage girl, excluding myself, who likes Monty Python. Also, The Princess Bride is one of my all time favorite books and movies, and Kill Bill one of my favorites as well. Yeah, I wish they didn't go together, either.

This story was inspired by a poster that is currently hanging in my room. Its basically a still black-and-white shot of one of the scenes in "Monty Python's Flying Circus: Ministry Of Silly Walks" (I told you I was a fan.)

**Summary:** When Author Weasley decides to show Harry & Ron some Muggle movies, Hermione will not be happy. ONESHOT. Spoilers for DH.

**Warnings:** Minor swearing. And, obviously, aforementioned spoilers.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, nor do I own Monty Python, The Princess Bride, or Kill Bill. I _do_, however, own a laptop.

* * *

"WHAT IS THAT?" Hermione Granger exclaimed in a somewhat disbelieving tone.

The Golden Trio had just defeated Voldemort, and had decided to finish their magical education. It was the first day of their seventh year.

"It's a laptop, Hermione." Harry pointed out.

"Yeah, we thought you could figure that out." Ron said.

"You being the smartest witch of your age and all."

"Not to mention Muggleborn."

They were going back and forth in a very Fred-And-George-Like manner, and it was starting to creep her out.

"Well, yes, I've gathered that much. But how did you get it to work?" Hermione asked.

"Um, ahem, 'Boy-Who-Lived'? Ring any bells? 'savoir of the wizarding word'? They _are_ prepared to make exceptions." Harry said in a joking tone while pointing to himself.

"What?"

"Yeah, there _are _spells that will override the magical wards. Just, usually, they won't let anyone use them. Something about 'fairness and equality'." Ron explained.

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"Because McGonagall owed me a favor." Harry explained as of it was the most obvious thing in the world, which, probably, it was.

"Yes, but _why?_"

"Oh, you mean, out of all the things he could have gotten from the favor, why did he choose the ability to use Muggle devices on Hogwarts property for a year, and then never see it again?" Ron asked.

"Precisely"

"Oh. Simple- Monty Python" Harry and Ron said in unison.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course not, Hermoine, he died over two years ago, get with the times!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh shut up!" Hermione said.

Both boys grinned like the cat that swallowed the canary, but when they thought of canaries, both went a pale that could compete with the Slyherin's. Of course, canaries were not usually scary, but you did _not_ want to be on the receiving end of Hermione's canary conjuring spell. Yeesh.

"What _is_ Monty Python, anyway?" Of course, she knew _of_ Monty Python, she _was_ raised by Muggles, but, really, what was so great about it?

Obviously, she was missing something, because the boys were looking at her with a mixed look of surprise and pity written upon their faces.

"Your kidding, right?" Harry asked.

"Of course she is." Ron said.

"Well, I've heard of it, of course, but it always seemed so pointless." Hermione backtracked. She did _not_ like the look she was getting.

"You take that back!" Harry said.

"Why?"

"Because- it's the most awesome thing since the creation of existence" Ron explained as if he was talking to a three-year-old.

"Your kidding." Hermione deadpanned.

"No, actually. You've _got_ to see it!" Harry said.

"Well, I'd say no, but you're going to show it to me anyway, so what's the point?"

"Exactly!" said Ron

"Alright, let's see it." Hermione said in a long-suffering and defeated tone.

"Yes!" Both boys exclaimed together, and commenced to log onto YouTube.

"Just as I expected, completely pointless." Hermione remarked after the tenth clip.

She couldn't believe she had just spent the last hour and a half watching old clips of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" and "Monty Python And The Holy Grail".

The Spam song had driven her bonkers. _What the Hell was Spam, anyway?_ She asked herself_ It sounded like some sort of canned meat product. That can't be healthy._

The Dead Parrot sketch made no sense. _Why would you sell a dead parrot to someone, anyway? And more importantly, why would you buy one?_

The Fish Slapping Dance made even less. _They're slapping each other with giant fish, for God's sake!_

And what was the big deal with the difference between an African and English swallow? Why would they be carrying coconuts in the first place?

Yes, there was a Ministry Of Magic, but a Ministry Of Silly Walks? That was just stupid!

All she could say about the Australian Philosophers song was…Ugh…

Yes, this was indeed, she realized, all a waste of her now precious time.

But, by far the worst were those Migraine-Inducing "Knights-Who-Say-Ni," with their dreaded need for shrubberies. And all their requirements: "Not too small, but nothing too fancy…"

Of course, she soon realized, that Harry and Ron did not share her opinion.

They were rolling on the floor laughing, trying to catch their breaths.

"How did you find these, anyway?" Hermione asked through gritted teeth.

"My dad." Ron explained.

"Yeah, he went to a local Muggle movie shop and bought a bunch of old movies that were on sale." Harry said.

"I am going to _kill_ him!" Hermione concluded.

"Hello. My name is Ronald Weasley. You killed my Father. Prepare to die!" Ron said, to which Harry promptly burst out laughing.

Hermione glared.

"Don't worry, Hermione! It's not Monty Python!" Ron said.

Hermione visibly relaxed. _"Thank God!"_

"Yeah," Harry continued, "It's the Princess Bride!"

Hermione stormed out of the room at that.

"That woman deserves her revenge," She could hear Harry saying, "And, we deserve to die!"

"Kill Bill!" She could hear Ron saying between fits of laughter.

Author Weasley was going to _pay…_

* * *

Yup, pretty random, I know.

Hey, yould you mind terribly just pushing that pretty green button and dropping a review? It's completely free and zero intrest!

Thanks!


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